The Book of Freaks
In the beginning was the Lion and Lamb and the Freaks did congregate there and call it The Animals. And the Freaks told tales of the days of legend when The Who and Jimi and the Pink Floyd would appear in the hallowed Corn Exchange but nobody believed them. This is Chelmsford, after all.
But lo, it came to pass that The Animals transformed into Dukes, a place anathema to the Freaks, and the Freaks did wander in the wilderness of Chelmsford of a Saturday night, or stayed at home to watch the Generation Game. Some said a Prince would one day come to save them from their interminable exile, and for this they hankered sorely.
And lo, it came to pass that the Prince of Orange did come to town and provided the Freaks with a place they could call their own in the Roman part of town. And The Prince did have a real fire and a garden and eventually even a video jukebox. And there was much rejoicing that the Freaks had found their Promised Land and there was more revelry than there ever was in the Animals.
But The Prince did not have a stage on which the Freaks could worship their idols. And so came the Army and Navy and the Y Club to fulfil this need and the Freaks did welcome the Rock Gods of their day into their hearts and entertain each other with their own bands and performances. And that was a Golden Age that is remembered to this day.
But, as the Beatle George had warned many years before, all things must pass.
And when the Y Club closed, the Freaks thought OK, we still have The Prince of Orange where we may congregate and the Army and Navy where we may worship our idols. And ye knoweth what is coming. With grim inevitability those venues also went the way of the Animals and once more the Freaks were cast into the darkness of the streets of Chelmsford and into the Bassment.
And it came to pass that the tribe of Wood, who were Ed and Denise and their multitudinous offspring and followers, did build an Asylum for the Freaks and the musically insane, where they could congregate and worship their Rock Gods and put on their own entertainments. And the décor was amazing unto the eyes. And nobody was turned away and cast out into outer darkness. And every year the Inmates would celebrate the hallowed days of the Prince of Orange. And there was much joy and revelry.
But, as Jimi had warned in the times of legend, and so castles made of sand, fall in the sea, eventually.
And so Ed and Denise could not keep the entropy at bay forever and they became drained of energy and money, even though the inmates did everything they could to support them. And there was much wailing and lamenting on the night of the Final Curtain.
And so once again the Freaks are destined to wander the streets of Chelmsford on the Sabbath nights or stay in and watch the dreadful X Factor.
But, as Sir Elton of John has told us, it’s just the circle, the circle of life. And the Freaks of Chelmsford will rise again one day and build a new venue where they may congregate and party into the small hours and honour their idols, however unlikely that may seem in these dark days. And it will be better than Asylum, as Asylum was better than The Prince and The Prince was better than The Animals, yay, even though that may be difficult to imagine it will come to pass one day.
